A New Breed: The Sports Nerd

Little did you know it, but there are different classes of Nerd. While Heidi and I are mostly exposed to the traditional nerd variety, we have also been subjected to another breed, the Sports Nerd. The NCAA Tournament is a happy time for this class, when they create these complicated little graph things called brackets in hopes of foretelling the future and winning... nerd respect. Wait. Respect? I thought there was money in this deal.

Heidi and I weren't just going to sit around and not experience this nerd spectacle, so we have created our own bracket, completely based on outfits and mascots... and of course the hotness of the men. Yeah, we missed the parts before the Sweet Sixteen Battle, but we just didn't have enough time to fairly judge all the team's color coordination and ratio of hot players to ugly ones.

After our intense analysis, we decided to pick the Syracuse Oranges for ultimate victory in this epic battle. I mean look at that fat little bastard, his athletic prowess and orange glow is guaranteed to win this for us. Otto the Orange is everything we wish we could be, round and....

"For the record, Lauren, I picked the Boilermakers because of their supergay mascot. My people have to stick together, you know? But I decided to let you pick the Oranges (or whatever) as the Ultimate Basketballing Champions (UBC) because at least we're still rooting for a fruit." -Heidi

Granted, those tight little shorts almost won it for them Heidi but Otto isn't even wearing any pants. So just you watch us sports nerds, we don't need any useless stats, or rosters... or to have ever even watched this thing you call basketball. We feel one with this orange.

Make sure you look here for updates on our progress. This crusade continues on until April 6th when we will be sure to be given the first place blue nerd ribbon.

UPDATE 3/27:

Well forget April 6th, Heidi and I are so good at bracketing, that we are done already. Oh that's right, with 20% accuracy, we now declare ourselves psychics. Our fat orange friend has forsaken us, and failed... miserably. You know, I don't blame the fact that we didn't consult statistics, or read up on the Orange coaching. I truly blame US for completely overlooking the heinous outfits these guys were sporting, all because that damn orange and his no pants distracted us.

They are wearing bright orange sweatbands for godsake. Well, we live and learn. Next year I'm sure we'll be better, right Heidi? All you pantsless mascots better check yourselves.

The Final Tally: