Elman's Housewarming Gift

Our arch nemesis Elman has broken the nerd trend and moved out of his mother's basement. At the tender age of 22, he is now a proud home owner and no longer has to hide his naughty magazines under his mattress.

Heidi and I, being the caring, loving co-workers that we are, have come up with several items we are considering for Elman's housewarming gift.

1) The Man Crib


Of course this wouldn't be complete without some pajamas:

Moving from the basement to above ground is going to be a big transition for Elmie. A man sized crib and footie pajamas we can only hope will lessen the shock and help him regain some of the security he has lost.

2) A Dungeon and Dragon's Dungeon Master Outfit

Elman claims to be a Dungeon Master yet he really lacks the outfit to back it up. So in order to get his nerd legions to respect him just a smidgen more, we bestow the following:

Scratch that, this is far more applicable to the situation.

You should see Heidi feverishly knitting away, an Elman sized bag over head is no small task people.

3) Cat Love

If there is one thing you need to know about Elman, it's that he hates cats. Quite similarly with women, he just hasn't met one that doesn't go screaming around the room, trying to claw its way to an escape route. Well, have we found the cat for Elman.


Elman needs someone who will unconditionally love him besides his mother. Sure it's in exchange for food and its coming in the form of an obese cat, but beggars can't be choosers.

4) Joker Art

Elman has declared on several occasions that he wants to have the Joker's babies. Yes, that does make him a necrophiliac and also leads me to believe that some horrible things must be going down with his reproductive system that I really just don't want to know about. So, to honor his muse/lover, we have found him some wall art.

5) A Warning Sign

This is the only gift that Elman legitimately wants... like seriously. I'm pretty sure his security system is set to stun should a XX chromosome cross his threshold.