Nerds Behind Closed Doors

Thus far, my only interactions with the nerd species have been in public and... ahem... through World of Warcraft . However I have this burning desire to understand how a nerd acts in his natural environment... behind closed doors. Since Elman refuses to invite Heidi and I over to his mom's basement, we must take things into our own hands. (And yes, I realize that our desire to explore Elman's basement is grounds for involuntary institutionalization). As luck would have it, I came across a website the other day that may allow me to become a nerd voyeur without having to stalk the elusive creatures with my night vision goggles. And it is just as disgusting as it sounds:


The website http://www.drivemeinsane.com/ allows you to control a nerd's home office from your very own computer. You can turn Christmas lights on and off and on again, with just a click of your mouse, in hopes of driving said nerd insane. While this is an interesting concept, what is more intriguing is that they are allowing us a portal into nerd abodes. What I have found explains why voyeurs must be arrested. We're just no good to society anymore after we've gouged out our eyes and can't stop screaming.

You are damn right I'm not smart! What possessed me to push the boundary between reality and nerdality? And the worst part is I just can't look away. Please, let us move on to Ryuji Land:

Shhh... quiet, don't scare the nerd away. He's hopped up on Moutain Dew and Pringles, there is no way of knowing what he might do. We will not be held responsible for loss of personal property or social lives. Run for your life...

There is an underground geek gang? Oh the humanity. That's just what we need. The Bloods, the Crips AND the Geeks. Prepare yourself for gang wars involving brutal boffer beheadings and larper lightsaber lambastes.

Now that my eyes have been opened to the secrets of nerd homelife, I am promptly closing them.