Watch Me Read Watchmen

Friends,

I am so worried about our dear Lauren. My one ally at work has gone, I fear, to the dark side. Yes, yes, it was all for the good of the blog, or so we told ourselves... but oh Lauren... she's slipping too far and too fast.

Lauren blogs like she hasn't a care in the world... But at work, she stumbles in, groggy from all-night Undead WoW benders, reeking of Mt. Dew and nerd, unable even to show her face.


Hiding behind your drug of choice, Laur? No honey... no blood elf can save you now. I must do what a friend must, though, and so in I go to try to wrestle her back. Despite the certain danger it poses to my own sanity, I am downloading WoW as we speak. Thanks to some nerd guidance at work, I know that I can go in as a Priest, and together we will create an unkillable team that can help each other to the safety of the non-WoW realm. Lauren! Grab my hand!

Now granted, I have some nerdery of my own to confess... and yes, it, too, falls under the category of "for the good of the blog"... I am reading a comic book. A comic book, people. For the good of the blog... the blog Heidi! Lauren tells me we now have an international audience (Google Analytics -- developed by nerds, and now enjoyed by cultural anthropologists who study The Nerd. Whoa, Heavy.) This audience, (I'm going to go ahead and count Wisconsin along side GB, because, really... where is that?) this audience must be fed. This audience expects.... book reports. And so, having not been able to get my hands on / being too proud to walk into a store and ask for "Nerd Likes it Hot," I have decided to read "Watchmen." It's all the rage these days, even amongst the non-nerd set, so I thought I'd give it a try. Besides, I learned today that even my beloved Suicide Girls read comic books:


I wonder if she has the comic version of Dungeon Runners: Pony Adventure.

I stumbled upon Watchmen last week when, trapped in the backseat of a nerd's car (.nooooooo/gag) between two nerds (.fuuuuuuuuuuu/puke), I found a copy of Watchmen in the backseat (because what else do nerds do back there?) and withdrew into it as a defense mechanism. And boy, did I learn a lot. First off, Dr. Manhattan? That dude is ripped and he Never Wears Clothes:


Now, I'm only about 25 pages in so far, so I don't know a lot about Dr. Manhattan yet; he's blue, I know that... what else what else? He's like, a superhero or something... hmm... he's got a government-funded prostitute who lives with him and is afraid of her 30's:




So that's how they got me! Luckily, the men in this coloring book are super sensitive:





Anyway, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but it looks like it's shaping up to be decent. Elman tells me that Dr. Manhattan can "get as big as he wants," which make this image all the more meaningful:


And besides, it may not be "Nerds Like it Hot," but it looks like things are about to get roasty toasty up in this bitch:


At any rate, Watchmen was named one Time Magazine's Top 100 Novels... so I'll just pretend that was the New York Times and I'll be good to go. I'll keep you posted, though I won't ruin it for you. The intergalactic blowjob we've just witnessed (thanks Elman, for the confirmation) doesn't happen til later and I curse myself for flipping through... I promise no screenshots of anything plot related... it'll be all bitter hookers and blowjobs from here on out.

Peace out Nerds! My WoW trial just finished downloading... I'm off to rescue Lauren, even if it kills me... or unkills her. Wish me luck!